One Small Step for man, One Giant Leap for an aspiring Radio Guy
Last modified on 2012-01-04 15:31:07 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
TSR! has taken to the airwaves after a year away from the microphone. They thought we could be stopped, and they were wrong. This is only the beginning, but the rest is up to you. Rioters!, download this and spread the word; Advanced Fandom is here to stay, and The Sports Riot! will serve as the messengers to deliver it to the masses. Hate the Team, Love the Fan! It’s The Sports Riot!
The Audio Blog Returns 12/1/11
Punch in the Face List – Tony LaRussa
Last modified on 2012-01-04 02:50:37 GMT. 2 comments. Top.
Well it’s finally time. For a while now anytime I wanted to discuss why Tony La Russa makes my “Punch in the Face List” someone act like a bonehead in their own right, causing me to put Tony on the back burner. But considering La Russa and his Cardinals are in the World Series, the time is right to add Tony to the list. So Tony, this punch is for you.
Before I really get into it, Tony La Russa will be in the Hall of Fame one day (as a manager, not as a player since he was a career .199 hitter). He’s led the Athletics and Cardinals to six pennants and two World Series titles (at the time of this writing the Cardinals and Rangers are tied two games apiece in the World Series). Aside from his days when he managed the White Sox; La Russa led teams were contenders, and he has a lot to do with that. I don’t doubt his in-game strategies (they are among the best ever), and he always gets the most out of his players. All that said, he still pisses me off and a punch in the nose is in order.
The Media and Tony
I hate the fact the media verbally fallates him any chance they get. I swear at times when I’m watching this World Series, Joe Buck’s mouth is literally salivating at the mention of La Russa. This has nothing to do with the fact his father was a legendary Cardinals broadcaster but that he has an overwhelming hard-on for him (with McCarver not too far behind).
Then there are the terms the media uses for him. He’s a “tactical genius.” No he’s not. In World War II, Patton and McArthur were tactical geniuses, La Russa is a GD baseball manager. He’s not leading the troops into Berlin. He didn’t “re-write the book” either. La Russa couldn’t hold a candle to the likes of John McGraw and Connie Mack. Those are the guys who wrote the book, he just reads it and likes to think he knows better.
Managerial Style
Anytime I watch a Cardinals game and I see that La Russa is batting the pitcher eighth I want to break my television. While in some ways it does make sense, especially if a speedster is in the number nine hole, it really annoys me; especially when the media refers to it as some kind of genius move. While he’s a good manager, he’s not a genius.
Then there’s the 18 pitching moves per game. One of the knocks on baseball from non-baseball fans is that it’s “slow and boring”. Changing three pitchers in one inning isn’t helping that cause. While I do understand you can’t hurt a team just for the sake of speeding it up, his bullpen moves are tiresome and annoying.
I honestly think when he uses his entire bullpen every game and bats the pitcher eighth has nothing to do that he actually believes it, but his ego is so big he has to live up to the hype the media has given him.
As I stated earlier he is a good manager, but he’s also had the luck of having a good team behind him. When he managed the White Sox he was terrible. If the talent isn’t there, you’re not that much of a genius. Take Joe Torre for example. When he took over from Buck Showalter as the Yankees manager he was known as “Clueless Joe”. Once he took over a team that had the talent to win it all he became the best manager in baseball. When Torre goes into the Hall of Fame, no one will remember his days in the basement with the Mets, but the titles he won with the Yankees. The same goes for La Russa. It’ll be Chicago who?
The Person
I know you’re probably thinking that these aren’t valid reasons to punch a senior citizen in the face. It’s probably not. It’s more superficial than that. I just can’t stand to look at him.
Seriously, the guy makes my skin crawl. Looking at him sitting in a dugout with his mullet freaks me out. Then he’ll wear sunglasses during a night game. Who the f*ck does he think he is, R. Kelly? He looks ridiculous and creepy.
Speaking of creepy, have you seen his mug shot when he got popped for DUI in Florida? He looks like a dirty old man that sits at the corner of a bar and harasses women. I have this mental image of what happened the night he was arrested for DUI.
Tony is sitting at a fairly crowd bar staring at a blond girl who’s not a day over 23.
TL: Hey sweet cheeks can I buy you a drink?
BG: Sure, I’ll take a Sex on the Beach
TL: That’ll happen later if you play your cards right.
BG: What?
TL: Nothing. Barkeep, give this beautiful lady a Sex on the Beach for me.
BG: Thanks, are you a golfer or something?
TL: No a baseball manager.
BG: That sounds like fun. Why are you wearing sunglasses?
TL: It’s a job and not an easy one. The glasses? It’s my look, it’s tough being Tony La Russa?
BG: Tony who?
TL: La Russa, I manage the St. Louis Cardinals.
BG: I like Cardinals, they’re red.
TL: Hey toots, lets cut the small talk. Why don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll see what comes up.
BG: You’re older than my pop-pop.
TL: I’ll treat you better then your pop-pop ever could.
BG: Um… I’m not feeling comfortable. Thanks for the drink. Good luck bird watching.
TL: I manage the Cardinals, the baseball team!
BG: Whatever
Girl walks away.
Tony thinks to himself: “Looks like Tony La Russa struck out like Prince Fielder on a Chris Carpenter slider. I guess I’ll drive back to my hotel. Sure I’m drunk, but I’m Tony La Russa, not Billy Martin.”
Tony leaves the bar.
So that’s it. The dude really creeps me out, good manager or not. Maybe if he cut his mullet, looked less creepy, and lost the sunglasses, I might feel differently.
Cry Meter:
This is a tough call. La Russa isn’t going to let up and you never mess with a guy with a mullet. Hopefully as I clinch my fist he makes a call to the bullpen and I get my shot in.
I’m going 4 out of 10. I’ll definitely knock him down, but the odds he’ll cry is a tall order. I mean he is Tony La Russa.
A**hole of the Week 2-18-11
Last modified on 2012-01-04 04:18:47 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
Albert Haynesworth
In pondering this week’s a-hole of the week, I was distracted by a guy on the train. Middle aged, balding, and wearing a suit, this guy was starting his morning off right, watching porn on his iPhone. I immediately thought he could be the a-hole of the week, but considering he wasn’t remotely athletic, and no one knew who he was it would lack relevance. Then I thought, watching porn on a public train, is a pretty bold move, so maybe he’s actually the hero of the week.
So I decided to pour myself a cocktail, put on a Hot Water Music record (Fuel For The Hate Game, if you must know), and ponder it a little more. It didn’t take too long to think of a-holes, but then I realized, who isn’t a bigger a-hole then the great Albert Haynesworth.
This overpriced chucklehead, who’s out of shape and has the intelligence of a bucket of Crisco, managed to get himself in legal trouble not once, but twice in 48 hours.
On Sunday, Haynesworth was formally charged with assault after a road rage incident. Apparently the dipshit was driving in his pickup truck where he came upon a car in front of him that wasn’t going fast enough for his liking. Instead of passing the car, Haynesworth thought it would be smarter to ride the guy’s ass for a couple miles. The driver in front obviously didn’t like this, so after hand gestures were exchanged, both parties pulled over, and Haynesworth assaulted the man. Of course Albert agent maintains his innocence (even though Haynesworth’s agent, Chad Speck is a slime ball, and even he knows his meal ticket is an a-hole).
But Fat Albert wasn’t finished, and was determined to continue his quest to be the biggest scumbag in DC.
Reports are that a waitress for the W Hotel in Washington DC is accusing Haynesworth of sexual assault. According to the police report, Haynesworth was at the hotel knocking back a couple of cocktails Sunday night (most likely celebrating his assault charge), when he asked for his tab. Upon receiving said tab, Haynesworth wanted to pay with his credit card. The waitress in question had her hands full and said she would be right back for it. Now while most people would be understanding of this, Al wasn’t down. He asked if he could put the card in the pocket of her blouse (he is an important Washington figure after all). The waitress obliged, but instead of Haynesworth simply putting the card in her pocket, he had to go all creepy on her and cop a feel of her boob (maybe in-lieu of a tip?).
I know athletes and celebrities get more perks then the average fella, but the last time I touched a tit when paying a tab, I was as a low end strip club in suburban Atlanta, and I still left feeling dirty.
I’d like to think Al is better than that, but in reality he’s not. Given his history with his on and off the field antics, he’s clearly an a-hole. If there’s one redeeming fact about him it’s that he makes Redskins owner Dan Snyder look like a bigger jackass for actually giving this ass clown a contract.
I flaw both victims in one respect. Had they dressed like quarterbacks there would be not legal issues. Any average football fan knows if there’s one thing he can’t do well is getting to the quarterback.
Jay
Serious enthusiast of the website, a bundle of your posts have really helped me out. Looking forward to up-dates!
this milestone. Tony has had a long and iuirstllous career that has gone over a period that read full news Published: Sun, 12 Jun 2011 00:33 Tags: Tony La Russa Reaches 5000 Games As
Like him or not Transition Tony get’s the most out of his players or he gets rid of them. That is rlleay the key, when a player gives you good numbers but has a character flaw that holds him back from reaching his potential. I know as Cub fans we have a few players that we wish the organization had that kind of forsight on. Transition Tony seems to have an ability to recognize these flawed players and get rid of them. I do agree this makes it easier for Pujol’s to leave town. Transition Tony is another great Italian manager like him or not, maybe the White Sox should of kept him around.