French Canadiens are Funny
Last modified on 2012-01-05 16:20:07 GMT. 1 comment. Top.
Oh Quebec, how you entertain me. This is aside from the politics of the Providence of Quebec and how they really like to consider themselves their own country even though they’re not. You guys take yourselves entirely too seriously in all aspects of life.
On Sunday, after watching the Eagles crush the Jets, I sat down and surfed around the internet. After looking for any new celebrity porn I might have missed, I hit up some of my favorite sports websites. Being a huge hockey fan (and I prefer the perspective), I read Canadian websites more than the websites here in the States, and I checked out TSN (the Canadian version of ESPN). So after reading an article about the reception that Jets fans gave Teemu Selanne in Winnipeg on Saturday (SIDEBAR: Winnipeg, that was a super classy move on your part. Selanne was one of the greatest players who ever donned a Jets sweater and the ovation you gave him on his long overdue return showed how great your fandom is. You understand Advanced Fandom and we love you for that.), I stumbled upon an article on how Quebec Nationalist Groups are upset that Randy Cunneyworth, the interim coach of the Canadiens who was hired to replace the fired Jacque Martin, does not speak French and is an “Anglo”.
Honestly after reading the intro of I thought I was reading an article in the Onion. I mean it had to be a joke. Sadly it wasn’t.
This piece of unintentional comedy (which was written by the Canadian Press and was found in most Canadian publications) went on to say that Habs fans were calling radio stations bitching and complaining that Cunneyworth was from Ontario and didn’t speak French. Some of these assholes went as far as trying to boycott Molson Beer (Molson owns the Canadiens). This isn’t the first time these Nationalistic jackoffs got their tits twisted either. Years back when the Canadiens named Saku Koivu captain of the team (which was well deserved), people where pissed he was from Finland and didn’t speak French.
I laughed aloud. Are things that boring in Quebec that their citizens have a piss fit over a coach not speaking French? Given the shitstorm here in the States, maybe being in Canada is the place to be. I’m more worried about making sure Christmas is taken care of, my bills are paid, and I have a steady income. I could care less what language the coach of my favorite hockey team spoke. Wait, I stand corrected, I want them to speak the language of WINNING.
Hear that Habs fans? Maybe you should be more concerned your new coach speaks the universal language of WINNING (Charlie Sheen knows it well). Then you guys will actually have a watchable product. To piss and moan about the fact Cunneyworth is an “Anglo” and doesn’t speak French is absurd. This isn’t the Canadiens ownership pissing on your Nationalist pride, but trying to do what is best for the fans and the team as a whole.
Speaking of Nationalism you realize that it’s total bullshit right? Nationalism is a polite way of saying Racism. It’s when you think “your kind” is better than other “kinds”. Here in the States, the Ku Klux Klan are pretty Nationalist, and personally I think there’s no difference between French Canadians being upset that an “Anglo” is their coach and someone in Philadelphia being upset if their coach is a “Negro” (yeah, I went there). Above all it’s pretty ignorant and sad (although I tend to find it entertaining, great fuel for a debate, and laughter).
Now look, I know all French Canadians aren’t like these Nationalist chuckleheads. We’ve heard from a lot of you and have received positive feedback when we discussed the need for the return of the Nordiques; so I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the assholes who love their sheep a little too much and complain about the United States because we can’t accommodate to their French speaking ways (but for some reason they love to come here and spend their Loonies). Those are the people you should laugh at too. That’s why Tebow put them on this planet. We will continue to support a return of the Nordiques and continue to laugh at these Nationalistic morons.
So Canadiens fans, I encourage you to embrace Randy Cunneyworth and drink plenty of Molson (I could go for a Molson Canadian right now). It could be worse, imagine if you had an American coach.
I’m calling out you so-called Nationalists. I can be found at dive bars in South Philly and at thesportsriot@yahoo.com. Remember that I don’t speak French though. You could also follow us on Twitter @TheSportsRiot. That’s not in French either. Les adieux…
More Comedy…Live From Quebec (A Follow Up)
Last modified on 2012-01-04 02:41:14 GMT. 5 comments. Top.
A couple weeks ago I wrote an article about French Nationalists in the Canadian Province of Quebec calling for protests against the Montreal Canadiens and Molson Beer over the hiring of interim coach Randy Cunneyworth because he didn’t speak French (he was also always the skinny guy in the JCHL. Only Chris will get that reference, but I don’t care). I felt when looking at what is going on in the world, protesting a coach who doesn’t speak French is small potatoes. In fact I went on to say that I found it to be racist and compared Mouvement Quebec francais (the French Quebec Movement for you ignorant Anglophones who can’t read French), to the Ku Klux Klan.
Then I took a step back…
With myself being an American, I’m ignorant when it comes to the politics of Canada and specifically Quebec. Without a little research, I’d just look like another American asshole. So I decided to reach out to some contacts I have in the great country of Canada. While they helped me and gave me a little local insight, nothing helped me more than reading MQf’s website (thank god for Google Translate because the only French this Anglophone knows he learned from Pink Panther cartoons). I must say it changed my life because it makes so much sense.
- Their main platform is not to have French be one official language but the ONLY official language in the Province of Quebec, even though French isn’t the common language in Quebec (Vive le French!).
- Although less than 50% of the citizens of Montreal are French, and less than 80% in the entire province of Quebec, there should be no government “over-funding” (which is probably a Loonie in their eyes), for Anglophone schools or hospitals in Montreal (when less than half of your citizens speak French, it makes total sense).
- All workers have the right to work solely in French even if their dealings are outside of Quebec with people who don’t speak French (that’s going to make outside businesses go out of their way to work with companies in Quebec).
- For Quebecers not to feel guilty for being French (and here I thought it was only Jews who were self-loathing).
Then it all made sense to me, and made me proud to be French (even though I’m not French). The French have always been known as pussies so it’s good to see them finally stand up for something (especially an important cause such as this).
I think they should take it a step further. Screw a protest. What is waving Quebec flags and holding signs going to do? These Anglo’s occupying your province can’t read French (hell, they just want to watch the Canadiens shit the bed for 60 minutes). What you should do is push them the hell out! If you see an Anglophone, beat him silly. He deserves it for not having enough respect to speak French. If you see an Anglophone’s house, set it on fire. Eventually they’ll start to get the picture and if they’re smart, they’ll start eyeballing the American border or Ontario (if they know what’s good for them). If that doesn’t work, it’s time to take it to take it to a new level; form a militia.
We all know militant groups have a high rate of success, so here’s my plan:
Start in Montreal and greet a person on the street in French. Should they not reply in French, beat them, and then stick them in a van. Then drive the van to a designated POW camp. At said camp, these Anglophone bastards will be taught French. Should they refuse, send them to Saskatewan or even worse, Mississippi (I’m sure the American Government will stand behind this if the price is right). If history has taught us something, putting people in camps always ends well. Sometimes if you believe enough in a cause you need to go to extremes, and I think this will definitely get the MQf’s point across.
After 37 years I’ve finally found something I can stand behind. I’m so amped up I want to beat an Anglophone myself. As of December 30, 2011 I am officially a member of Mouvement Quebec francais (I hope they mail me a card just so I can use the phrase “card carrying member”). Although an Anglophone myself, I think I’ll be accepted into this organization (to my MQf brother’s out there, my user name is “Nordiques74”). I’m making arrangements to attend the protest in Montreal. I’ll be the guy dressed like a mime welding a baguette and a bottle of wine. You Anglophone f*cks better watch out!
This has me so inspired I’m starting my own movement. As a left-handed person, I feel discriminated against so, I’m going to start a movement against right-handed people In the United States. While 89% of American Citizens are rightiphones, it’s about damn time us leftiphones can drink a cup of coffee in the morning and be able to read how Garfield the Cat hates mornings, loves lasagna, or how I’m a #1 Grandma.
Who wants to join my cause? Hit me up at thesportsriot@yahoo.com. If you really stand behind me you’ll follow me on Twitter @TheSportsRiot. Viva la Leftiphone!
Milbury’s got a Bum Wrap (a rant in defense of a fallen legend)
Last modified on 2012-01-04 15:28:10 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
Sometimes here at The Sports Riot! we feel the need to stick up for the little guy. You know what I mean right? I’m not talking about the kid on the playground who gets picked on. Lets be honest, the kid probably had it coming to him for being a giant wuss. I mean the guy we all want to love, but due to stupidity he becomes Public Enemy #1. Frankly, I find that to be bullshit. Not because I agree with what chucklehead stunt the little guy did, but it’s usually something we’d like to do ourselves and it’s probably funny. So I’m taking it upon myself to stick up for a former NHL player, coach, general manager, and television analyst, because he needs my help. So Mike Milbury, I’ve got your back.
If you’re unsure who Mike Milbury is, he currently was placed on leave as an analyst for NBC Sports and CSN’s Hockey Night in Canada while he resolves some pending legal problems. His unfair suspension was because of an outburst he had at his son’s pee-wee hockey game that resulted in him being arrested for assault and battery on a 12-year-old, along with threatening to commit a crime (if that’s a real offense we should all be in the joint), and disorderly conduct.
While this might sound like unruly behavior for a 59-year-old man, it’s not as bad as it seems.
It all started when Milbury was trying to be a good dad and was coaching his son’s pee-wee hockey club. Young Jake Milbury got into an on-ice altercation with the “victim”, and a ruckus broke out. Being a good dad, Milbury ran on the ice, split up the fray, then proceeded to threaten and shake the “victim”.
Honestly, I really don’t see what the big deal is. Isn’t it commonplace in today’s society for parents to go balls out nuts at a child’s sporting event? I’m under the impression it happens fairly regularly, and makes the game more entertaining, because lets be honest, watching a 12-year-old play any sport isn’t good. All the kids suck and most of the time they have no idea what is going on. As someone watching that junk, I want to be entertained. Hell, I’ve been known myself to grab a cold six pick and catch me some little league, in hopes that two overzealous dad’s beat the shit out of each other because of a close play at the plate. It’s no different than going to a NASCAR race waiting and for a 15-car wreck. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s a part of life.
While some might be outraged over his behavior, he’s done something that every adult wants to do to a 12-year-old; shake the shit out of them.
Now that Milbury has been suspended from his gig as an analyst for NBC Sports and CBC watching national televised hockey won’t be the same. Milbury has spent a career helping the NHL. As a player he was one of the league’s best defenseman. While coaching the Bruins he won a Presidents Cup. All that doesn’t compare to his analytical viewpoints he gives on TV. The man is a verbal goldmine. If you’ve never heard some of the proverbs that have come out of his mouth, let me enlighten you.
“It’s too bad he lives in the city. He’s depriving a village of a good idiot.” – when referring to Paul Kraus, agent for Ziggy Palffy
“I’m so disappointed they came with their Eurotrash game.” – when describing the 2010 Russian Olympic Hockey Team
“Uwe Krupp is asking his guys to basically be fire hydrants and they’re getting peed on right now.” – when referring to the 2010 German Olympic Hockey Team
“The kid’s playing like he’s sniffing glue” – when referring to defenseman Eric Brewer
“I never got to do it either, but I’m not going to cry.” – when referring to Jeremy Roenick crying after the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup
“Thelma and Louise.” – when referring to the Sedin brothers
“It’s unbelievable that after more than 30 years in the game, my legacy is for beating a guy with his own loafer. I guess it’s better than having no legacy at all.” – when referring to his NHL legacy and how in 1979 he beat Rangers fan John Kaptain with his own shoe
These are only a handful of the gems that have come out of the mouth of Milbury. The guy is pure genius, and I still haven’t got to real genius when it comes to him. His legacy with the New York Islanders.
Milbury was the General Manager for the Islanders for a ten-year stint and shaped the Islanders into the on-ice juggernaut they are today. Some of his more memorable moves were:
- Trading Roberto Luongo and Olli Jokinen to the Florida Panthers for Mark Parrish and Oleg Kvasha.
- Drafting Rick DiPietro to replace Luongo, passing over the likes of Danny Heatley and Marian Gaborik.
- Trading Zdeno Chara, Jason Spezza, and Bill Muckait for Alexei Yashin.
- Trading Bryan McCabe, Todd Bertuzzi, and a draft pick for a vintage Trevor Linden and Jarkko Ruutu.
To be honest I don’t understand why there’s not a statue of Milbury in front of Nassau Coliseum. I’m sure there’s some ill-informed Islanders fans who thinks that Mike made some questionable moves during his stay with the Islanders, but I disagree. Have you seen the entertaining hockey they’re playing in Long Island these days? Islander fans should count their lucky stars that they had a GM like Milbury who cared enough about their franchise he would do all he can to improve it.
I understand I might be in the minority here, but I’m in Mike’s corner (and you know you are as well). He’s a brilliant analyst, top-notch father, and one hell of a front office employee. He’s the kind of guy I’d drink beer with.
What are your thoughts? You know you secretly agree with me. Shoot me an email at thesportsriot@yahoo.com and give me your thoughts. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter @TheSportsRiot. We aim to please.
Top 5 Oilers of Anytime Other Than 1984 – 1990
Last modified on 2012-01-04 15:29:14 GMT. 1 comment. Top.
I’ve never hid my love for the Edmonton Oilers. I’ve loved them since I was a kid and that will never change. I spend most of my days while I write listening to 1260 The Team (which I personally find to be one of my favorite sports radio stations). From Neilson and Chase, to The Mark Spector Show, to The Jason Gregor Show (I normally switch off Rome), it’s a staple of my daily life. If you’ve never listened, you don’t know what you’re missing.
Enough of me whoring out a radio station I listen to. I’m not on their payroll. Anyway, I’ve been thinking for a while to do a Top 5 pertaining to the Oilers, specifically relating to the players. The problem with that is all Top 5 played on one team. From 1981-1988 the Oilers were a dynasty so doing a standard Top 5 might come off a bit trite.
So after brainstorming with my partner in crime, the illustrious Chris, we developed a new idea. The Top 5 Oilers who weren’t involved in the dynasty. Just in case you are wondering, here’s my personal the Top 5 Oilers of All-Time:5 – Glenn Anderson
4 – Jari Kurri
3 – Paul Coffey
2 – Wayne Gretzky
1 – Mark Messier
(SIDEBAR: I know when you look at that at face value most would think that how could Gretzky not be the number one player. At first I agreed. Partially I’m biased since he’s my favorite player of all-time, but after talking to Chris he made a good point. After Gretzky was traded to the Kings, Messier led an Oilers team to another Stanley Cup Championship in 89-90. Also Mess didn’t need a bodyguard on the ice. He could score, pass, and deliver a timely elbow when duty called. It’s a damn shame the Oilers ever dealt Wayne. He wasn’t the only guy that cried that day. )
So now that we have addressed the All-Time 5, let’s look a little deeper and look at the Top 5 Post-Dynasty Players:
5 – Bill Ranford – Technically he was with the Oilers in 88-89, as a backup to Grant Fuhr, but when most people think of a backup to Fuhr they think of Andy Moog. In 89-90, Ranford did one thing that Moog never did; he won a Stanley Cup without the help of Fuhr. He became one of the league’s top goaltenders and stayed in Edmonton until 1996 when he was shipped up to Boston (cue the Dropkick Murphy’s). Ranford currently ranks second in career wins (167) and first in games played (449). While Ranford’s GAA (3.51) isn’t the sexiest number, it still ahead of Fuhr’s career GAA of 3.67. While Oilers fans might disagree, name a better goalie since?
4 – Ryan Nugent-Hopkins – Look, I know this might be a stretch considering Nugent-Hopkins is only 18-years-old and has 29 professional games under his belt, but the Oilers haven’t seen a play maker like him since #99 graced the ice of Rextall Place (before you get your panties in a bunch he’s got a lot to prove before he gets actual real comparisons to Gretzky). In his 29 games he’s currently sixth in the league in scoring with 32 points and is blowing all rookies out of the water holding a 10 point lead over Predators rookie Craig Smith (not that it affect where he ranks with the Oilers but it’s still impressive). At 18, the Nuge’s play is only going to get better. I have no doubt he’ll continue to improve and become one of the best players in the league.
3 – Kelly Buchberger – Most of the time when you think of an All-Time Great, statistics is the first thing that comes to mind; mainly scoring. While Buchberger scored a career-high 44 points in 1991-92, he was more valuable on the ice devastating opponents with violent checks and an occasional ass kicking. As the Oilers All-Time leader in penalty minutes he menaced opponents during his eleven seasons in Edmonton. Although he left Edmonton in the 1999 expansion draft and went to the dreaded city of Atlanta, Buchberger permanently left his mark in the city of Edmonton (as well as the heads and ribs of opposing players). Upon his retirement he returned to the Oilers as an assistant coach.
2 – Doug Weight – Weight was an offensive force in his nine seasons in Edmonton and ranks sixth in scoring behind Gretzky, Kurri, Messier, Anderson, and Coffey. This obviously puts him right in the company of the All-Time Greats (he ranks number one among American born Oilers). One of the most skilled playmakers in the 90’s, Weight’s best seasons came while wearing an Oilers sweater, where he earned three All-Star appearances and averaged 82 points per season (including a career high 104 points in 1995-96). I debated putting Weight at number one, but I couldn’t justify an American being the top Oiler since their dynasty days.
1 – Ryan Smyth – I was stoked when the Oilers re-acquired Smyth in the offseason. The guy who grew up an Oilers fan returned home to give a veteran presence to a young Oilers squad. While Smyth has never been a flashy player he’s always been the guy who’s not afraid to do the little things to get the job done. Whether it’s digging out a puck in the corner, or clogging the goal mouth looking for redirections, Smyth has always brought the intangibles to the table. This gritty type of play has made him one of the biggest fan favorites in Oilers history. He gets extra points in my book because he still chooses to sport a mullet.
(SIDEBAR: I have a story somewhat related to Smyth. I almost got into a fight with his brother Kevin. In the 90’s I lived in Florida and Smyth was playing for the Orlando Solar Bears (stupid name), of the IHL. One night I was out with my girlfriend at a bar called One-Eyed Jack’s, and a few of the Solar Bears were there getting their drink on. We were having a good time with our group and Smyth kept making comments about my girlfriend; nothing too over the top, just the standard annoyances you have to deal with in a bar setting. Apparently Kev wasn’t happy his advancements weren’t going his way so he got up and approached us. With his advances still blown he grabbed her ass. At that point I snapped out, threw a punch, and had to be held back by my friends. I guess a couple of the Bears grabbed him as well. Okay it wasn’t the most exciting story, but it somewhat related).
Oilers fans! Who is in your Top 5? I want to hear from you. Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com and we’ll chat. There’s still that Twitter thing (it hasn’t gone away). Follow us @TheSportsRiot and it’ll help you get laid. I swear…
Go Jets Go!
Last modified on 2012-01-04 15:30:25 GMT. 1 comment. Top.
It’s been a while since we’ve given some love to our favorite city of Winnipeg. I think the last time might have been when I went to the Flyers/Jets game in Philadelphia, and that was over a month ago. That’s too damn long, and Winnipeg, I apologize for that. Considering I’m wearing a Jets shirt today (hopefully Santa heard my request and they’ll be a Kyle Wellwood or Blake Wheeler jersey waiting for me under the tree on Christmas), so today is as good as ever to discuss the state of the Winnipeg Jets.(SIDEBAR: Speaking of my Jets tee shirt, it’s a simple faded blue shirt with the new Jets logo on it. I tend to wear it over a thermal. Anyway, I’m wearing it at the bar the other day and some cock-eyed smart ass staggers up to me and asks me if I’m wearing a superhero shirt. Very sarcastically I told him yeah, and that the Batmobile was parked out back. Idiot…)
Before I get to the Jets I’d like to send my condolences to the Blue Bombers and their loss at the Grey Cup. The Lions were heavily favored to win it all (it didn’t hurt they were playing in front of their home crowd), and everywhere I listened and heard, no one really gave the Bombers a chance. They did do better than I thought they would and put on a better showing then the Eskimos. It’s something positive to build on for next season.
Now lets move on to the Jets. Things are looking really good in Jetsland these days. They are currently riding a four-game winning streak (at the time of this writing), including a huge 2-1 victory over the defending champion Boston Bruins, and now find themselves only one point behind the Capitals for the eighth spot in the conference. This means me getting a Jets tattoo at seasons end is still in play (I will leave it up to the Rioters! in Winnipeg to decide which logo to get). Things are beginning to come together for the Jets and there’s a good reason why.
Offense
Over the past month the Jets have found a comfort zone and have finally started to gel going 8-4-1. Specifically, the month of December has been real good to the Jets as they’ve gone 4-0, outscoring their opponents 11-5. A lot of this has to do with the emergence of Evander Kane, who has caught fire recording 10 goals and 5 assists (it’s good to see him settled into Winnipeg and no longer disgruntled).
Kane’s offensive outburst has been contagious as Blake Wheeler (2-G, 10-A), Dustin Byfuglien (4–G, 8–A), Andrew Ladd (6–G, 3–A), and Bryan Little (7–G, 6–A), have shown the Jets can put the puck in the net (especially when they’re playing the Flyers). Along with faceoff specialist, Jim Slater, the Jets have begun to come together as an offensive unit and have started to make a name for themselves.
While things are looking up offensively, there’s still unnecessary turnovers in the neutral zone, which is killing them. Also aside from the play of Byfuglien and Chris Thornburn the team lacks a physical presence.
Defense
The Jets defense has also started to put it together. Despite missing All-Star defenseman Tobias Enstrom and Ron Hainsey due to injuries. Zach Bogosian has stepped up in a big way (hopefully he’s finally working towards the potential he shown when he was drafted) and The Mark’s (Stuart & Flood) have also filled in nicely.
I’m still with the belief that Byfuglien isn’t a defenseman and is better suited playing the forward position (I’ve seen too many times him bringing the puck in as a forward, turning it over, and unable to get back causing an odd-man rush), but with the current depletion of the defense it makes sense for him to man the blue line (I’d just prefer if he stayed on the point).The defense still concerns me. At times they are unable to clear the zone, and they are giving up entire too many shots. Hopefully when Enstrom and Hainsey are finally healthy they’ll be able to have a sounder defense.
The good news on the Enstrom front is he’s on the mend from a broken collarbone. While he’s still a long way from returning it’s encouraging to see him back skating.
Goaltending
Ondrej Pavelec has proved me wrong. Going into the season I really didn’t think he had what it took to be a full-time starter in the NHL. I thought he had the potential to be a nice platoon goaltender, but handling a full load seemed like a stretch. Well so far this season there are times he’s had to stand on his head, leading to some big wins.
On the flip side of the coin, there are times when he’s been complete garbage and had to be pulled after surrendering five goals. While now I’m a believer in Pavelec, I would like to see a little more of Chris Mason. He’s only started four games to date, and I’m still not sold Pavelec can handle a Martin Brodeur-type workload.
As for Mason, I really don’t have an opinion of him as he’s started sparingly and any other time he’s been used has been strictly mop-up duty after Pavelec was chased with his tail between his legs. As I’ve already said, I hope he begins to get a little more work at minimum to give Pavelec a rest.
Outlook
It’s not going to be easy for the Jets here on out and making the playoffs still is a reach, considering they do tend to play a Jekyll and Hyde game entirely too often. One thing working in their favor is the Southeast Division. Florida is playing over their heads, Washington and Tampa still can’t seem to get their shit together, and Carolina just sucks. While teams in the division are sputtering, the Jets need to take advantage of this and keep the hot streak alive.
I want to hear from you Winnipeg! I know you’re reading. Give me your thoughts here on the site or email me at shatmeself@yahoo.com and let me know. The Jets are a work in progress, but it’s headed in the right direction. Go Jets go!
One Small Step for man, One Giant Leap for an aspiring Radio Guy
Last modified on 2012-01-04 15:31:07 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
TSR! has taken to the airwaves after a year away from the microphone. They thought we could be stopped, and they were wrong. This is only the beginning, but the rest is up to you. Rioters!, download this and spread the word; Advanced Fandom is here to stay, and The Sports Riot! will serve as the messengers to deliver it to the masses. Hate the Team, Love the Fan! It’s The Sports Riot!
The Audio Blog Returns 12/1/11
The Quebec Islanders? One "fan" says Nay!
Last modified on 2012-01-09 15:37:36 GMT. 2 comments. Top.
The other day I got into a discussion at the bar with someone in response to a post I put up last week about the NY Islanders being moved to Quebec. This guy claimed he was an Islanders fan (but strangely he was wearing a Bruins shirt). I could see this guy had good fandom, but was unable to get his point across and stay focused due to his consumption of half a bottle of Canadian Windsor and six National Bohemian beers; so he just wanted to argue. The conversation went as follows (I did record this on my phone, and there was a lot of incoherence, so I’m going to just pick out the highlights):
Drunk Guy: Whaddya mean the Islanders should move? (I should mention that he chimed into a conversation I was having with a friend of mine that started with discussing the Jets)
Jay Platt: Just what I said. The team is a joke and they’d be better off in a place where people actually appreciate hockey.
DG: But Quebec? F*ck them.
JP: (gives blank look)
DG: They had their shot and couldn’t keep a team. They blew it. That’s not the Islanders fault.
JP: Atlanta had two teams, so did Colorado, and now Winnipeg. Do you know why the Nords even moved?
DG: Because they’re a bunch of French a**holes.
JP: (mild laughter), wait the team was all French a**holes?
DG: No, the country. Quebec is a bunch of French a**holes.
JP: Okay bud. First Quebec isn’t a country as much as they would like to think so, it’s a Canadian Providence. Secondly they actually moved because of financial distress due to the NHL lockout and Canada’s economy at the time. If you’re going to talk to me at least make a f*cking point. Besides, what’s your hard-on with the Islanders?
DG: They’re my first love. I’m from Long Island.
JP: Me too, where abouts?
DG: Bethpage
JP: Nice, I’m from Shirley. So what’s up with the Bruins shirt? Did you break up with your first love?
DG: Nah man, I still love the Islanders, they’re just tough to watch. What’s with the Jets hat?
JP: I like the Jets, hence the hat. So if your first love is so tough to watch, wouldn’t you want to see the best for them? Moving the Islanders to Quebec would be the best for the franchise and for the NHL as a whole.
DG: Not to Quebec. They can turn it around in Long Island.
JP: Are you out of your f*cking mind? Management has run that team into the ground. It’s a shit run organization that doesn’t even have a real arena.
DG: What’s wrong with Nassau Coliseum?
JP: In comparison to other arenas in the league it’s like a double-wide trailer. I haven’t been there in over ten years and it was a sh*thole back then and they haven’t done anything to improve it. If it blew up, that would be an improvement, and no one would care.
DG: Why were you there?
JP: A Nickelback show, but that’s not important.
DG: You like Nickelback?
JP: No, it was a joke, no one should like Nickelback, but back to the Islanders, no one should like them either.
DG: The coliseum isn’t a trailer park. It might be old but do you know how many memories Long Islanders have? Oh, they are going to build a new arena for the team. Once they build a new arena the team will turn itself around. Even if they don’t build an arena I read they might move the team to Brooklyn or Queens. At least they’ll stay in New York, which is where they belong. It’ll keep them out of Canada.
JP: I had a lot of good memories in my first car. It was a 1984 Chevy Cavalier, in high school. I had a ton of great memories in that car but eventually I got a new car. That’s why they are memories. They’re fun to visit, but you can’t live in them, it’s not realistic. I can’t see…
DG: But you still…
JP: Don’t interrupt me. I’ve done a bunch of research and writing on this and there’s a better shot of me starting for the Eagles next week then Long Island funding $400 million dollars for a new stadium and unrealistic complex in a neighborhood that’s a sh*thole. Moving the team to Brooklyn or Queens won’t help the situation either because no one there gives a shit about the Islanders because they’re all Rangers or Devils fans. It’s the same with the whole song and dance about moving the Nets to Brooklyn. Some people might go to check it out, but people already have allegiance with the Knicks and that’s not going to change. Also, what’s your deal with Canada? You know the whiskey your drinking comes from there.
DG: This isn’t from Canada (drinks his shot)
JP: It’s called Canadian Windsor for a reason buddy.
DG: Huh…..I..
JP: Anyway, back to what I was saying. Now while people on Long Island will not publicly fund the dog and pony show that Charles Wang want. In Quebec City they are currently building their own $400 million arena that is publicly funded with the intention of getting an NHL team and possibly an Olympic bid in 2022.
DG: That’s not going to happen.
JP: You’re right, I’m making it up just to watch your face get red. Read a little, maybe you’ll learn something, like that the Whiskey you’re drinking is actually from Canada.
(More awkward silence as DG looks at his glass)
The Islanders rank last in attendance every season and in 2015 when their lease is up with the double-wide in Uniondale, the new arena in Quebec City will be opening.
DG: There’s no way Quebec will be able to sell out an arena. I’ll bet you a million dollars they won’t be able to do it. They’re too small. They have to be the smallest city in Canada.
JP: First off I doubt you have a million dollars to bet (a very 2nd grade comeback, I know, but it had to be done). Secondly, Quebec City was the smallest city in the NHL when the Nordiques were there, you’re right with that. In saying that, the fans were passionate about their team. Hell, you’re Mr. Islander, and you don’t remember last season when busloads of people from Quebec bought 1,000 tickets and came out in their Nordiques gear? These fans are hungry. They Islanders probably doubled attendance that night.
DG: It’s still too small.
JP: Are you f*cking listening to yourself? You aren’t making a point just repeating yourself. Edmonton is a small market and the Oilers sell out every game. Before even knowing who would be on the roster this season in Winnipeg, the Jets sold 13,000 season tickets in the blink of an eye. It’s so tough to get a Jets ticket they team is having online lotteries for the chance to buy single game tickets. The Islanders are lucky if they have 10,000 fans on a given night. Besides how is the Islanders market not small?
DG: I think you’re the crazy one. The Islanders are in New York, the biggest market in the world.
JP: Louie, can I have another one, just a beer please.
DG: Don’t interrupt me!
JP: I wasn’t talking to you
DG: As I was saying. A small town in Canada in no way an ever compete with the mecca New York is.
JP: You make a valid point if we were discussing the Rangers, but we’re talking about the Islanders. The Islanders are located in New York but you can’t tell me people in Manhattan and The Bronx really give two sh*ts about the Islanders, unless they are playing the Rangers. Using your logic, the Sabres are in the mecca of New York. Buffalo is in NY, yes, but it’s more Canadian than Mecca.
DG: You’re an a**hole.(one of the three typical responses you could expect from an Islanders fan. The other would be “Four Cups in a row” or “Mike Bossy would have been better than Gretzky”)
JP: It could be worse; I could be a French asshole.
DG: I just can’t see it happening. You make no sense.
JP: I never said it was going to happen. I said it was my idea and it would help a franchise that has been run into the ground and the dates on stadium leases happen to match up and maybe the Quebec Islanders will have fans that actually give a sh*t about them. Who knows if it will ever happen. Hell, Gary Bettman has made it clear he hates French a**holes too, which is why Quebec is taking it upon themselves to build an arena. This is something the people of Long Island have no interest in doing. I applaud Quebec for doing this and they’ll eventually get a team, be it the Islanders, Coyotes, or Panthers.
DG: I’m gonna grab a steak at Pat’s. Do you want anything?
JP: No I’m good.
Okay, it might have been a little wordy Rioters!, but I engage in this nonsense for you (well not always). Everything I said to Drunky I stand by. The best thing for the NHL can do would be to relocate the Islanders to Quebec and give a franchise that has fallen into pieces some respect. With young players like John Tavares, Matt Moulson, Nino Niederreiter, and Travis Hamonic, there is a young core that with the right leadership can have a bright future. Why not give them a city that actually appreciates them.
The Jets of Winnipeg invade Philly and We Were There
Last modified on 2012-01-04 02:47:22 GMT. 2 comments. Top.
Good day fellow Rioters! As you know we at The Riot! have never hid our love for the Winnipeg Jets. We loved them when they were in Winnipeg, led by Moe Mantha (well he technically didn’t lead much), and campaigned for their return to Winnipeg (they should have never been moved to the desert to begin with). We were one of the first outlets to break the story about the Thrashers relocating back to Winnipeg, and gave the city of Winnipeg our love, making the Jets the first Official Riot! Team.
I take my fandom seriously and made it clear the first time the Jets visit Philadelphia (which is twice this season due to the Jets still being in the Southeast Division), I would be clad in Jets gear and openly root for them, despite being surrounded by Flyers fans. This resulted in me getting shit from friends who called me a traitor and a fair-weather fan (which is ironic since the hopes for the Jets this season isn’t too high, so their weather isn’t all that fair). I gave the finger to all of them and took my Jets stance to an idiot extreme and decided I would get a Jets tattoo should they make the playoffs in their first season back in Winnipeg. If this happens, I’ll honor this and wear my Jets tattoo with pride, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. It’s a long season and we’ll see what pans out.
I also decided to use opportunity as a social experiment. Philadelphia gets a lot of shit about their fan base and what assholes they are and I constantly defend them. But maybe because I’m a Philly fan my opinion is biased, so if I’m clad in an opponent’s gear I’ll see what other fans see.
For my birthday a couple weeks ago I was lucky enough to get a pair of tickets to the Jets/Flyers game, six rows from the ice, along with a Jets shirt and hat (I do own some older Jets gear, but the new logo was needed). I was instantly stoked.
Well last night (Thursday) it was finally game day and I counted the minutes until it was time to leave and haul my ass to the Wells Fargo Center.
Arrival: We parked the car and headed to the arena. In most cases there’s groups of fans tailgating in the parking lot, swilling beer, and eating hoagies. Last night wasn’t like that, mainly because it was cold as shit and raining, but there were a few troopers. A couple people gave me random looks but only one person said something. When we were on line to get in the arena and a guy saw my hat and just said “Jets?” and I replied with “Damn right.”Once we got in, armed with a beer and a couple hot dogs (as a bonus it was “Dollar Dog Night”), we made our way down to the seats and they sure as hell didn’t disappoint. I go to my fair share of hockey games but it’s rare I’m sitting a few rows from the glass. It was extra rad being it was the Jets game.
I looked around and the arena was a sea of orange. I didn’t expect to see many Jets fans but there were a couple spread throughout the stadium so I knew some people had my back.
First Period: On paper, given the team the Flyers have and the team the Jets have I didn’t have high-hopes for a win, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to root on the Jets until the final buzzer.
From the opening faceoff the Jets pressured the Flyers and during the second minute of the game it appeared the Jets took a 1-0 lead as Chris Thorburn pushed the puck through the legs of Sergei Bobrovsky. After review it was ruled no goal, so the score remained 0-0. About a minute later Scott Hartnell deflected a feed from Danny Briere, giving the Flyers a 1-0 lead. As a Flyers fan and the fact Hartnell was on my fantasy team I didn’t mind it but I was there to root for the Jets and to make it worse I had to hear the stupid song the Flyers play when they score a goal.
Last season the Flyers played “Bro Hymn” by Pennywise after every time the Flyers put the puck in the net. They dropped it this year and now it’s some shitty Latin dance number. I don’t even know the name and I can’t be bothered to look it up, I know it just sucked. Okay, I looked it up and the name of the song is “Doop”. I don’t know who the artist is and frankly I don’t care. It’s shit.
The Flyers spent the first half of the period looking strong and unlike other games I’ve seen this year they weren’t turning the puck over. They applied pressure to goalie Ondrej Pavelec and had the Jets reeling. This is when the sloppy play of the Flyers returned and they started turning the puck over, which the Jets took advantage of scoring three goals in the final ten minutes of the period. Randy Jones, Jim Slater and Kyle Wellwood all took well timed passes and put the passed Bobrovsky, giving the Jets a 3-1 lead.
During the first intermission I went outside to grab a cigarette, wondering what kind of reaction I’d get or hopefully find another Jets fan. I didn’t find any Jets fans but I did talk to this Flyers fan who also wrote for a website. He and I just laughed at this old woman who had countless amounts of pins on her Bobby Clarke sweater and smoking out of a cigarette holder. It was the equivalent of the amount of chains Mr. T would wear and she was super tacky. Unfortunately she’s probably someone’s grandma whose grandson gets embarrassed anytime they go anywhere in public.
I did get my first taste of the Philly fans when I was walking to get a beer. A couple of trashbags wearing Flyers tee shirts and bandanas started yelling “Winnipeg f*cking sucks!” “Go back to Canada faggot!” I simply replied with a casual “Look at the scoreboard buddy.” I continued to walk to my section I did see a dude in an Alexei Zhamnov jersey (the same home jersey I had 17 or so years ago). Then two Jets fans in my section wearing a Teemu Selanne and Dale Hawerchuk jerseys. I dropped a “Go Jets Go!”, and high-fived then over a few Flyers fans that were less than thrilled (screw them).
Second Period: The second period began how the first period ended with a total offensive attack by the Jets. Tanner Glass and Nik Antropov both scored within the first five minutes of the period, extending the Jets lead to 5-1. At this point the boos and the “You suck” comments started being tossed around. Not toward me or any Jets fan, but toward the Flyers and their shitty play. That’s when Bobrovsky was pulled for Ilya Bryzgalov. In Bob’s 25 minutes he allowed five goals on fifteen shots (there was plenty of reason to boo).
The changing of goalies did spark the Flyers and Claude Giroux gave the Flyers their second goal about a minute into Bryzgalov entering the game making it 6-2. The guy next to me sarcastically asked why I wasn’t standing up and cheering Giroux. I just laughed at him. A few minutes later the Jets got back on the board on a goal by Evander Kane. That’s when I stood up and cheered which prompted people behind me to start yelling “Sit down asshole.”
With the score 6-2 and I was feeling pretty comfortable and started ribbing the kids sitting behind me, who couldn’t understand why I was rooting for the Jets. That’s when the Flyers turned it on. Briere and Max Talbot added two more goals for the Flyers within two minutes and if not for Pavelec standing on his head the game would have been in the Flyers favor. The period ended with the Jets up 6-4.
I again went out to smoke and see what I would encounter, and with the exception of a few people commenting under their breath there was really nothing spectacular. I was hoping to encounter some of the stories I’ve heard from people, but I found nothing. I did encounter what I dubbed “The Biggest Asshole in Philly”. I was leaving the bathroom, approaching me was some chucklehead wearing a Flyers jersey with the sleeves cut off. He also had a Mohawk. That’s not all. He also had the Flyers logo tattooed on each side of his head. As we approached each other he yelled “LET’S GO FLYERS!” He wasn’t an asshole for yelling and cheering for his team, he was an asshole because he looked like one (I wish I took a picture of him).
Third Period: The third period opened completely insane with the Flyers bombarding Pavelec with shots and the Jets defense being unable to clear the zone. In the first three minutes Briere, Matt Read, and James van Riemsdyk all beat Pavelec and suddenly the Flyers went from down 6-2 to up 7-6. That’s when Chris Mason replaced Pavelec in net. My confidence level was still there but now the Flyers fans around started ribbing me. All good natured typed-stuff, which is something I’ve always loved about sitting by an opposing fan at a game. There’s nothing wrong with joking around with an opposing fan as long as you don’t act like an asshole.
The cheers and high-five’s didn’t last too long for Flyers fans as 27 seconds later, Alexander Burmistrov beat Bryzgalov through the five-hole, tying the game at seven. One minute later Mark Stuart beat Bryzgalov giving the Jets an 8-7 lead, prompting Bryzgalov to break his stick after repeatedly beating it into the crossbar.
I was on the edge of my seat hoping the Jets can hang on to the lead even though they couldn’t get the puck out of their own zone. Eventually they Flyers knocked on the door enough times and van Riemsdyk notched his second goal of the game tying it at eight.
Well Fargo Center was electric and I didn’t have a good feeling about the outcome and figured overtime was on the horizon. That was until, with a minute left in regulation, Andrew Ladd took a feed from Blake Wheeler and put it past Bryzgalov, giving the Jets a 9-8 lead. The boos poured down from the Flyers faithful as I stood up and cheered, prompting more calls to sit down and how I’m an asshole.
I might be an asshole, but I’m an asshole on the winning side. Go Jets go!
Overall View: From a simple fans perspective the game was something I’ve never seen before. I don’t remember ever watching a game with 17 combine goals. Hell, the Jets matched the points the Browns and Seahawks had combined last Sunday. It was non-stop action and it reminded me of a pickup game on a pond, not an NHL game.
While the action was great, from a hockey fans prospective both teams played like shit. The goaltending was an abortion and overall defensively it was complete crap. Even though the Jets won, they can’t be happy with the way they played.
I will say after seeing the Jets live they are a much better team than what you see in the box scores. Although the atrocious goaltending needs an over haul and defenseman Zach Bogosian needs to have a clue what is going on when the puck is in his zone, the offense grinds the corners and moves the puck extremely well. You have to be happy when 9 of your 25 shots end up in the net. Unfortunately unless the goaltending and defense can get their shit together, the Jets will stay on the runway.
As far as getting shit for be an opposing fan, it really wasn’t there but I was also rooting for the Jets. I imagine if I was rooting for the Penguins or if I rooted for the Cowboys at an Eagles game it might be a different story. It’s something for me to think about in the future. I do plan on catching the Jets in DC as well as The Ghettolands New Jersey and MSG New York (I won’t step foot in that shithole on Long Island). I’ll continue to show my love for the Jets and get a vibe from different cities.
Aftermath: I haven’t listened to any Winnipeg radio today, so I’m not sure what the buzz is in Manitoba, here in Philly it’s looking grim. After the game Bryzgalov told the media he’s lost confidence in himself, it’s all his fault the Flyers are struggling, he stinks, and couldn’t stop a beach ball if it was shot at him. The Flyers have him under contract for nine more seasons. He’s going to need to man up, quit whining, and make saves for the Flyers to be competitive.
Fans aren’t talking about last night’s debacle because they are too focused on the Eagles and the Cowboys this Sunday. Distractions always help when your team is in the toilet.
The Jets are coming! The Jets are Coming!…….from Winnipeg (to avoid any confusion)
Last modified on 2012-01-04 02:51:25 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
Speaking of hockey, because that’s what I’d like to be doing, the better half got me the best birthday present. On October 27th we will be heading to the Wells Fargo Center to see the Flyers play. The seats are six rows from the ice, on the blue line. I’m stoking. I love my Flyers. But this is what I love more. They’re playing the Winnipeg Jets.
As you all know the Jets are an official Riot! team, and Chris and I never hide our love for them. So as I’ve stated since the inception of the Jets I will be there clad in my Jets gear and expect to get shit from friends and Flyers fans at the arena. Either way I don’t care. I have love for the Jets and I’ll stay until the final horn, even if they lose by six goals (they’re goaltending concerns me). The Jets did get their first win last night against a very good Penguins team to the delight of the Jets faithful in Manitoba. So who knows, maybe they will be the surprise of the NHL this season. All I know for sure is that 4 games in and the fans of Winnipeg already hold the Advanced Fandom crown.
Now there is one promise I can’t fulfill. I did state I would wear a Moe Mantha jersey to the game and that’ not going to happen. Unfortunately as a starving artist, I can’t shell out the lettuce for a new jersey (I will take donations if anyone is interested, email me at shatmeself@yahoo.com and I’ll give you details to hook me up). However, I am ordering a new Jets hat and tee shirt, and will be the only Jets fan in the Wells Fargo Center having the time of my life.
Winnipeg, I love you…
Hockey Returns to Winnipeg! Damn Right…
Last modified on 2012-01-04 04:21:13 GMT. 2 comments. Top.
God damn I’m in a good mood. Hockey is returning to its rightful place in Canada. Word on the street is the True North Co. has bought the Atlanta Thrashers for a mere $110 million and will pay the $60 million to relocate back to Winnipeg.
I know aside from myself, Chris, and the people of Winnipeg, no one really gives a shit, but you should. Since the Jets left Winnipeg for Phoenix, the providence of Manitoba has been starving for hockey. Granted they have the Manitoba Moose (which consistently lead the AHL in attendance), but minor league hockey is a joke. Moving the Thrashers to Winnipeg is the first step in the NHL attempting to correct the mess it is (if you doubt me, read Chris’s blog about the state of the NHL). The biggest mistake was letting the Jets to leave Winnipeg to begin with. Shit, since the move the Coyotes have been a joke, Wayne Gretzky proved he cannot coach his way out of a paper bag, and the team is currently owned by the NHL due to blatant financial mismanagement.
The Jets were a historic franchise that boasted some greats like Bobby Hull, Dale Hawerchuk, Teemu Selanne, Darren Turcotte, Alexi Zhamnov, Keith Tkachuk, and one of the league’s best defenseman, Moe Mantha. In fact the Selanne, Zhamnov, Tkachuk was one of the best lines of the 90’s (I actually owned a Zhamnov jersey at that time).
There’s only one issue I have with this move. According to Winnipeg’s mayor, the team will not be named The Jets. Word around the campfire is it’ll be a “Manitoba” team, and will be named the Moose, Thrashers, Falcons, or Polar Bears. In my not so humble opinion, this is absolute bullshit. If a team returns to Winnipeg, the only fitting name would be the Jets. To name it something like the Polar Bears would completely bastardize the franchise.
While this hasn’t been officially announced, it’s happening. True North has already announced that the Manitoba Moose are being relocated to St. John’s, leaving an open stadium for the NHL in Winnipeg.
Oh, people of Atlanta you’re all f*cking pathetic and I will never shed any tears for you. You lost the Flames in 1980 and losing the Thrashers in 2011. This past Sunday the City of Atlanta held a rally to save the Thrashers and a whopping 200 people showed up. Well done Atlanta, you don’t deserve a hockey team or any sports team for that matter.
I pledge to all of you that once the announcement is made I will go to Mitchell & Ness and have them make me a vintage Moe Mantha jersey. Well done Manitoba, you’re finally getting real hockey back in Winnipeg. Now if somehow the Coyotes would relocate to Quebec, all would be right in the world.
