It might be just after lunchtime here in Philadelphia, but the MLB trade wheels are already turning with two blockbuster trades this morning. These two deals, which included a total of twelve players, who won’t have any real impact, might be two of the pointless trades I’ve ever seen.
TRADE #1: Royals send pitcher Jonathan Sanchez to Rockies for pitcher Jeremy Guthrie – I told you earlier today in so many words that the Royals were on a mission of futility, and it’s continuing. This trade is the equivalent of two neighbors diving through each other’s trash hoping they can find gold in a pile of shit.
At one point Guthrie appeared to be a serviceable starter, but lacked run support in Baltimore. After watching him pitch in Colorado, it was clear that Baltimore wasn’t his problem, he just sucks. Fear not Royals fans, you still have Jason Kendall.
Sanchez wasn’t bad in San Fran, mainly because he was in a pitcher’s park. Too bad the Royals brass didn’t realize that when they traded Melky Cabrera for him (talk about a trade rape). He was an absolute abortion in Kansas City, and if fans think that’ll change in Colorado, I need what you’re smoking (email me for my addy). At least Rockies fans will have ample opportunities to catch home run balls from the opposition when Sanchez takes the mound.
TRADE #2: Astros send pitchers Brandon Lyon, J.A. Happ, and David Carpenter to Blue Jays for pitcher Francisco Cordero, outfielder Ben Francisco, and minor leaguers Joe Musgrove, Carlos Perez, David Rollins, A.J. Wojciechowski, and a player to be named later – Jesus Christ what a waste. Has there ever been a trade in Major League history involving this much crap???
If Blue Jays fans think they are catching lightning in a bottle again like they did when they acquired Anthony Gose, they need to put down the Moosehead. Happ is a #4 starter at best and Lyon is the same pitcher as Chad Qualls. Bad… I don’t know much about David Carpenter, but I’ve found he’s a middle reliever, in his mid-20’s, who has an ERA over 6.00. There’s a reason to get excited in Toronto.
There was a time when Cordero was a solid closer. They key word is WAS. He’s pushing 40 and his arm isn’t getting any healthier. Ben Francisco is a 4th outfielder at best, if not better suited as a AAA journeyman. As far as the three minor leaguers go, I have no idea who they are and have no intention of finding out. When three “prospects” and two roster players are in a package for clowns like Happ and Lyon, they probably won’t see Minute Maid Park unless they buy a ticket.
I’m sure there are more trades to come and hopefully they’ll be more entertaining than these two piles of dogshit. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know your favorite trades.
Jack Buck’s MNF Memories