In sports players love to express themselves and facial hair is one way they do so (except if you’re on the Yankees and are tied to the stupid Steinbrenner no facial hair rule). So what would be better to honor Movember then a Top 5 of the best moustaches in sports?
3 – Sal Fasano – “The Stitches” – If it wasn’t for Fasano’s bitchin’ moustache he would have been out of baseball five years ago. The perennial backup catcher who can’t hit his weight had an advantage for any runner trying to score from second. Before rounding third, they had to think twice about the ‘stache. He’s not the only one sporting a “Stiches” (because it’s shaped like stitches on a baseball), but he also had the balls to sport a mullet that would make Kenny Powers jealous. Similar to “The Don’t F*ck With”, the combination of “The Stiches” and a mullet can be dangerous.
2 – Rollie Fingers – “The Greaseball” – Closers tend to wear facial hair in the style of the job they would have if they weren’t playing baseball. Think about it. Brian Wilson would be a pirate, Goose Gossage would be a carnie (specializing in moustache rides), and Jon Axford would (or possibly is) be white trash. This brings us to Mr. Fingers. What would he be you ask? Clearly he’s a greaseball organ grinder. A ‘stache like that is waxed to a tee and would make any barbershop quartet jealous and any organ screaming to be grinded.
This reminds me of an old joke. Why does an organ grinder have a monkey? Someone has to keep the books (I’m aloud to make Italian jokes since I’m a quarter Guinea).
1 – Lanny McDonald – “The Walrus” – This moustache speaks for itself and no words can give it proper justice. I only can dream to have a moustache like Lanny (as well as that cool of a name). I’ll go as far as saying that his moustache is so bad ass it should be in the Facial Hair Hall of Fame (along with the boys in ZZ Top). That makes every Canadian proud. Sure he loses some points for being a ginger (which means he also has no soul), but if you can find a better moustache in all the world of sports, feel free to let me know.
Did I leave anyone out? Who is in your Top 5? Hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can discuss it. Remember to follow us on Twitter @TheSportsRiot. If you’re not following us you have a higher chance of getting cancer.
Jack Buck’s MNF Memories